His name
by Talhiri
Summary: His name was Trevor. He wasn’t pale but he was an outsider, quiet and lonely to say the least. Trevor didn’t really talk much, he was always angry, always destroying things, whether they were his or not. In the end it all comes down to his name, Trevor...
1. Chapter 1

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His name

His name was Trevor.

He used to be a small humanoid boy from some _other _planet; he wasn't pale but he was an outsider, quiet and lonely to say the least. Trevor didn't really talk much to us students and the masters. Well, he was forced to talk to the Masters, but it didn't do much good. He was always angry, always destroying things, whether they were his or not.

One day I was sitting alone by the Meditation tree and suddenly he was standing there sullenly besides me, hands jammed into his pockets, with a scowl on his tanned face. He asked me what I was doing and we talked for a while before he suddenly stopped speaking. I didn't really think much of it until something in the Force changed. And it changed right besides me, in front of my eyes…

It was also because of him.

A shrill whistling sound cut through the air and light, like a lightsaber about to explode. The flower to my right started to wither and curled in on itself. I fell to my knees and covered my ears in vain as though I could block out its pain but that didn't work. Next with an almost hysterical laugh, the attention of his Force power was focused on the Meditation tree.

I don't really remember much except yelling at him to stop, as I squeezed my eyes shut and grabbed onto the Force to center myself somehow. Suddenly as fast as it had started he stopped; and cautiously, to my amazement he was crouching besides me and staring at me with wide eyes.

"You're bleeding." He said in a husky voice, "I've never made another person bled before."

I wiped the thin trail of blood away from my nose, and blinked in surprise; "You're not sorry, are you?"

He shook his head slowly, "no…" He shrugged, "not really." He brushed his knees off and stood up, offering his hand to me; "Come one, you might as well get up, since you're not hurt and before I get into trouble." I laughed bitterly accepting his cold clammy hand, "it's really like they say; you just like to hurt people or things, don't you?"

He gave me a cold look; "No, no I don't."

I shook my head and wiped the last traces of blood off and walked away before he could answer me.

He watched as I left and shook his head. "I just like to explore…" he whispered before he left as well.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

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He stayed until he was thirteen and was worse than before in his earlier years when we were children, if you could have ever called him a child; you know the type: full of innocent and laughter, happiness or so to say. No, he was never any of these things. I don't know what resulted from out meeting that day, but the night before he left, he came to see me; a backpack slung over his narrow shoulder and grimaced at me; his way of smiling or so we said.

I was surprised. He'd never really tried to interact with me in all of these years that I've known him. He stood there in a forbidding stance, his dark clothes, draped almost on his powerful form.

"Can I come in?" He asked quietly and I nodded, stepping aside as he entered and closed the door quietly behind him, dropping the backpack carelessly to the ground, the items inside bashing painfully together.

"You should be more careful with those lightsaber parts, Trevor. They're fragile, you know that." I flicked a lock of brown hair out of my eyes and stared at him, waiting for an explanation.

He nodded and shrugged, not disregarding my information but merely ignoring it for the moment. "You're pretty good with the Force, for a kid our age, Revi; how do you know so much?"

I shrugged as I leaned against my desk, "I study a lot and my parents taught me too. That and I have a brother and sister who still teach me things as well." I raised an eyebrow, "I'd have thought that you'd surely have heard about all the rumors regarding my family's history."

He laughed, his laughter grating, almost as though it was forced and painful for him to laugh; "rumors? Morel like half-truths, Revi and besides that, yeah I know about them too." He grinned (an actual real grin!) and smirked at me, "like the fact that most of your family is Sith lords and you're the only straight and honest Jedi among them."

I shrugged, "Whatever and besides, I do know more than a lot of people here, you included."

He nodded and glanced at the floor before looking back up at me. "I'm leaving them. I'm going to go and make my own place where I can learn what I want to learn." I nodded, not laughing at him nor encouraging him either. "And what does this have to do with me?"

He grinned crazily, stretching the skin tightly across his tanned face eerily, "I want you to come with me and learn as well. We'd make a great team, Revi."

I was shocked.

"Why me…?" I stuttered out as I stared at him in confusion, "why not someone else?" He looked at me intently for a minute and then stepped within several inches of me; "because I like you." He whispered and then stared silently at me. I don't know how long we stood there like that, just silent and looking into each other's eyes, his opal black and my grey-blue eyes, just staring.

Suddenly he pushed forward and kissed me on my lips forcible before I realized what was happening. "No!" I didn't quite shout as I pushed him away, but I came close enough to it. He glared at me with hared in his eyes for a moment and then they softened.

"You're like them." He breathed; his breath harsh and heavy.

"I'm not like them, but you can't just force your affections onto some one. They have to be received!" I was shouting now, tears running down my face for some reason. I didn't feel for Trevor and I certainly wasn't attracted to him, but I was still crying for whatever reason it was.

His eyes were wised as I sank onto my knees and continued to cry. I don't think he knew what do from the way his nostrils flared and the gasping of his lungs working as he struggled with my break-down.

"Why? Why do you have to be so mean to everyone?" I cried at him, "why can't you just let us help you?" He crouched besides me, and just sat there, watching me for some time.

I opened myself to the Force and turned my intentions at him, showing and forcing him to see everything that had happened and was happening. I honestly don't know what I did afterwards but it was hours later before I came to myself, lying curled up on the bed underneath a blanket.

I sat up startled when my sister's presence was felt in the Force. "Revan… that was quite the mastery of that lesson I taught you a while ago." She nodded at me, "you've been marked, you know."

"Marked?" I asked, probing the word with my tongue, glancing at my face in a tiny mirror though there was nothing visible there. I looked back at my sister who laughed gently at me.

"How so…?" She asked me in the form of a question and I nodded confused as she smiled. "Open your eyes with the Force to find that answer, little sister." She told me and disappeared, the Sith specter fading away before I could say anything else.

I then saw what she meant as a mask enveloped my face and images of warring people flashed before my eyes. I now had a destiny and a world to save …and betray or so it appeared was what the Force had in mind for me to do.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

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I entered the dark cavern that I remembered so well from my earlier explorations. But this time it was different. I was no longer training my armies within these halls anymore and had taken or hidden almost everything of value in my own little home where I lived.

The dust had not had proper time to settle yet before he arrived here. He followed me, using my footsteps as a trail I suppose while he tracked a way here through the Force.

I entered the dueling stage and crossed the long span of distance and stood there in the alcove facing him in the center of the room.

"It's been a long time, Trevor." I said; my voice quiet and soft yet loud enough to be heard and powerful enough to give him pause in any thoughts of fighting me that instance.

He couldn't speak.

Not properly like he used to be able to when he was younger; the Force had made its mark on him as well, though for the better or the worse, I do not know. He growled in the ancient Sith language and even then it was horribly garbled and mangled as he tried to speak.

"My answer remains the same as ever, Nihilus… I have things I must do now and my knowledge of the boy you were as a child, will not affect me." I raised my gloved hands up and removed my mask, letting the hood fall down to look at him with my own eyes, no mask in front of them.

"Take your mask off, Nihilus. I will not look away, no matter what you have done to yourself with the Force."

He howled and raged then. His power in the Force was powerful and the full strength it showed then and I was watching with that cold calculating manner that I had learned to covet during the war.

He was powerful; there was no denying that but as powerful as me, he was not. Our strengths and weaknesses lie in different paths than the other's and he had nothing left but hate and anger within his soul.

Finally he stopped and just stood there, facing me. I had no doubt he was just staring at me like he used to, when we were younger but I could not tell. He removed his mask and I was blasted from all sides by what he had done to himself and from the Force.

I was unsure as how to gauge my reactions then, sadness and sympathy were holding a warring battle in my heart. The boy I once knew, his pale unnatural face was gone, replaced with something different, something new that no one would be able to face.

He replaced his mask swiftly as I raised a hand up to shield my eyes and gestured at me almost angrily.

"No." I said again, "I will not join you. I did not need help to rule the galaxy then; I would not need it twice. I also have no interest in ruling like you would as well, Nihilus."

A long moan, almost the word no rumbled from inside of him somewhere and I shook my head sadly.

"I am sorry for you. I would end the pain, but it is not my place to give it to you."

"Good-bye, Trevor; May these halls give you what you were seeking here…" I turned around at that point and left the planet, leaving Malchor V behind me as I went to search for my old friend. She was going to be pushed to the point of her limits and beyond if she was to win the battle against the Sith lords now.

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	4. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

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It's been years since I've seen Trevor and I doubt that he even remembers the boy he use to be then; twenty odd years since he ran away and already, Trevor's a powerful young man with a strong body built and powerful command of the Force. 

He's destroyed planets, entire civilizations and other things. His name is no longer Trevor. He has changed it to Nihilus now. And somehow as curl as his life is, this name is fitting.

I'll never forget the boy, Nihilus use to be…

I can't really and if you ask me, when Jean killed him she did him a favor, because my rejected love was something he didn't want to handle.

And thus, even Revan, has limits… to love him was something I could not give him in return for his advances.

I'l also never forget the man, he became, as well...

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End file.
